Thursday, October 26, 2017

More Waiting

The day started out beautifully.  I slept well for a change.  I still don't have the TV in my bedroom, but I did turn on the clock radio and listen to a talk radio show until I fell asleep.  I turned it down very low, however.  I think I'll stick to this arrangement.

The day kinda went downhill from there.

The office of a new Cardiologist called to schedule a consultation appointment.  I received the call happily, but it's not until next Wednesday and then I have to wait until who knows when to get the procedure done.  

I still have not received any payments from the insurance company and at this point, I don't know whether to cry or scream.  If there's nothing by Saturday, I'll be on the phone come Monday.  

It makes you wonder about people, you know?  Doesn't anybody care about others anymore?  I don't think they do.  I think it's all about the money and every man for himself.

I always try to remain positive and look for the good in people and find the silver lining, but it's really hard to do these days.  I feel like there's no empathy in the world like there used to be.  I told myself this morning that people are busy and have a lot on their plate.  Not sure if I'm being empathetic or making excuses for people's action.

There was one bright spot today in addition to the gorgeous sunrise this morning.  Our Site Superintendent at work called to let me know that all the guys out on "49" were asking about me and to tell me hello and wish me a speedy recovery.  

"49" is a county road that runs from Hudson to Kersey here in Colorado.  It was a 2 year road widening project that just finished today.  I was out there every day for the last two years and that is where I was the day I fell and tore my rotator cuff.  I know the first name of every worker out there and there are dozens.  We became like family and I sure do miss them.  That phone call made me cry.

There has been a psychological aspect to this whole ordeal that people don't realize.  I was used to getting up every day at 3:30 in the morning to be at work by 6:00.  Most nights I didn't get back home until 5:30....6:00.  That was my life.  It was stressful and I complained a lot about the hours.  

I always thought it would be wonderful not to have to go to work every day, and I suppose it would be if I had the same amount of money coming in and could get out and do things.  Being at home, pinching pennies and not knowing when I'll get any money is beginning to depress me.  Sometimes I'll just burst into tears for no apparent reason.    My faith is being tested, that's for sure.  I'm trying hard to trust His timing.

We shall see what happens tomorrow.

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