Tuesday, November 14, 2017

A Sad Day




This post is about my youngest son.  I had intended to talk about this at some point, but current circumstances kinda pushed it to the fore. 

My youngest son is a smart, handsome and extremely talented guitar player who is an addict.  His drug of choice.......heroin.

I have been battling this with him for the last 13 years in one form or another.  It started with alcohol and marijuana and then it turned into meth and now heroin.  It started some time in January when he got arrested for drug possession.  At the time, it was meth.  While he was sitting in the police car, I told him he couldn't come back into my house until he got some help.  He later told me that he made some new acquaintances that got him started using heroin.

He lived in his car for 8 months.  I would let him come in for an occasional meal and a shower once in a while.  He had visits with his children here a few times as well.

In August of this year, I thought my prayers were finally answered.  An old girlfriend of his, who was also an addict at the time they were together contacted me to see how he was doing.  They had broken up because she decided she wanted to get clean and to do that, she had to walk away from him.

I told her what had been going on and we decided to get together and start working on getting him into treatment.  They started hanging out again and between the two of us, and in about a month's time, he finally decided to go to rehab.  

I wasn't convinced until he walked through the doors and after dealing with it for so long, it seems so surreal that he actually took that step.

The whole family got involved in his treatment.  We went to 2 hour group counseling sessions on Saturdays and gave all the support we could.

He finished the program and we experienced so many breakthroughs.  He was the son I remembered and he was so happy.

He's been looking for a job and trying to repair his relationships with family and friends and it all seemed to be going so well until this last Friday night.  The kids were coming for the weekend.  He left the house around 3 PM and didn't come back until 11:00 PM.  Nobody knew where he was.  He didn't answer calls or texts and we finally gave up on him.  The kids had gone to sleep.  So I went to bed.

In the morning, I asked him to do a drug test, which I threw at him here and there since go came home from rehab.  He had always gladly taken the test, but this time he got angry and crushed the cup, refusing to take the test.  I knew at that moment he had used.

I was forced, once again to put him out of the house.  He's been gone 24 hours and I have not heard from him.

I am brokenhearted and that's why I haven't given a lot of detail here in this one post.  I will explain more and fill in the blanks in the coming days, but I wanted to let anyone who's been reading here what is going on and why I might not post daily as I have been.

I am really trying not to let this put a ripple in my road, because I have so many other things to deal with right now.  This is one of these "Give it to God and go to sleep!" times.  

~Deb
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